Chapter One : At Long Last

So far away. He is so distant. I can’t walk, and I can’t wake up. Is this just one of my other. The world is just spiraling in a downward spin. I can’t concentrate any more. I can’t resist him anymore. Despite it all, this all a magical wonderland. I’m in heaven when I think of him. These thoughts make me lose my mind. This is me, but then again, it isn’t me. All I desire is him. I’m in heaven. Will he show me that he misses me, or will I have to force it out of him?

Raised on my tiptoes, I kissed him. A sudden wave of surprise surged from him into me. A spark. Never before had I expected this. I knew that my fate was meant to be lead by this, but can things change for the better? I didn’t want it to end like this. It has. I backed away, my eyes slightly wide. His expression matched mine. A picture perfect view. Onlookers looked and he just stood there.

I took a step back, my head shaking. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. Not yet. I turned and ran away. He didn’t come after me.

* * *

His back was turned. His teeth were set in place. One foot after another. It was that simple. It wasn’t. Regret held him back. He let her go, and for what? Pride? She was the one girl that understood him, and he had let her go. Who knew how long it would be. Would she even know him later on?

He swore that he would never cry. He wouldn’t. Nothing in the world could make him shed a tear. Loosing the one girl that ever understood him wasn’t worth it. It didn’t matter. His eyes followed her until she had faded into the distant sun. She was gone.

Austin held out his arm, hoping to hail a taxi. Thoughts jerked through his mind like the traffic set in front of him. Why couldn’t he have wrapped his arms around her. He knew better. She was hurt, and she walked away hurt. A taxi screeched to a halt beside the curb. His fingers strumming against the roof of the taxi, he leaned forward to look at the driver. What was it that she had said? Beware of a man that wasn’t a man. What had that meant? A honk for the cab driver snapped him from the thought lines.

“Third street,” he mumbled as he sat down inside the car.
A strong scent of smoke and perfume wafted up from the floor, and he raised a hand and covered his nose. What was it about this smell that caused his stomach to do flips? Shouldn’t he be used to this sort of smell by now? He took one more deep breath and froze. The smoke was the heavily scented smoke that he had occasionally smelled on her. The perfume was hers as well. It was all over. It was as if…

“10.50, sir,” growled the cab driver. Snapping to attention, Austin dropped eleven dollars into the drivers hand.

He watched as the taxi faded into the distance, Just like her. Raina. Austin had barely knew her, but he had fallen in love with her. She wasn’t like any other girl he had met. She was happy, fun, and enjoyed the things he did.

A sob escaped him. What was this? He thought he never cried, but, here he was, crying. Austin didn’t understand emotion, but here he was, crying his heart out. He had lost his treasure. She was long lost and far away by now, probably fated to be in the hands of another.

Of all the girls to know him for what he was, he had to loose her. He was a monster, but she accepted him. He was emotionless, but she accepted him. He loved no one, but she loved him. Austin brought a finger to his eye and wiped away a tear. His eyes focused on it, images of his past swirling in the tiny droplet. His first kiss. His first laugh.

And they were all gone.

* * *

By the time he had reached his apartment, the sun was just about ready to rise. Biting back a growl, he drew back the curtains. He was going to end it all. Now. The sun was just now peaking above the rooftops. The light danced against his bare feet. It was a slow start, but he liked things slow. In a few moments, the light had reached his hands.

Blisters were starting to ripple on his arms and feet. It would all be over soon. He took a final glance at his night stand. That’s where she had laid her belongings when she was with him. A letter was there. He could faintly see her writing on it. I Love You, Austin. He blinked, the pain snapping him from his suicide attempt. This wasn’t the end of it, not yet.

Austin sat down on the bed, his blistered hands opening the letter in a careful manner. Her writing was scrawled in the letter form. She had left him something, something he could hold to him forever.

Austin,
If your reading this, then you must have taken my leaving well. I’m not one to assume the facts, but I know you better than anyone. Of course, you have lived longer than me and no more. Much more. Austin, you’re the only guy I knew that understood life’s ways. Please know that this isn’t the end. It is never the end. We will meet again, by this I am positively sure. When I left, I had hoped you would stop me, but you didn’t. You let me go, and for that, I wish I could only understand.

Show me that you miss me, please. Please say that when I come back, you won’t let me go so easily. But, if I come back, danger could await you. There will be secrets unlocked that you never knew. You lived blinded, to be honest. Though I previously said you knew more than me, you don’t. I am writing this to you so that you know what is waiting for you. By the time you reach the end of this letter, there will be only one thing awaiting you. Sleep. When you wake up, I will be there. I was just that little French girl that no one understood, except for yourself of course.

Austin, I love you. Please remember that and know that I miss you with every waking moment. That taxi you rode in was your first clue. The smoke is a smoke, and the perfume is mine. The smoke is from a man. A man that is not a man. When you wake up, the world will be different. I will be different. You won’t remember anything when you finish this letter. You won’t remember me or anything that has happened since we met. I know this is all hard to understand, but this is as simple as I can pout it. I’m warning you, Austin. You should have forgotten about me the moment I left, but you didn’t. I will be watching you from afar, and you won’t even know.

Maybe the day we meet will be happier than today. With this final wording, I love you. Always yours, R.E.M.

He folded the letter and looked down at the floor. Austin shook his head. There was so much information in one simple letter. At the moment, it was all so hard to understand. Was it really that hard to miss? Secrets. He hated them more than anything.

Rage began to slowly envelope him. Why was he starting to get so angry? What was it about the letter that made him want to kill? She kept all this from him, and then just left. If anything, he felt betrayed in a way. His life was normal before he had met her. He had it easy, but then things got rougher. His foster parents death followed his sisters. He growled and laid back on his bed. What if she had never came? Would they still be alive?

His mind was switching to different thoughts. Between the “What ifs” and the “Where are you” , he just couldn’t keep one thought going.

It was her fault. He should have ignored her, left her right on the curve. She might have been hit and his problems would have been solved.

No, that wasn’t right. Austin shook his head one final time before he rolled onto his side. What was it she said in that letter? Sleep? Vampires normally didn’t sleep, but if that letter happened to be jinxed… Austin frowned and closed his eyes. He didn’t know what awaited him when he opened his eyes, but he was pretty close to being ready.

Then he fell asleep. And quite possibly, he might never wake up.